Aren't exams supposed to be the stressful thing?

I'm really scared that I become unlikable or at least far too overbearing when I go into planning mode.

Heaven knows I know i get stressed if i don't know what is going on....

I'm pretty good as a leader. I'm good at making sure that things get done, at least on my end. But it seems like people... either drop out on me or do other things that make it more difficult, or don't make themselves easy to contact/don't respond which makes it really hard for me... and makes me stress.

And right now, my source of stress is cosplay and cons.
Part of this is mine: I haven't done much work beyond planning for the costumes I'm going to do this year for AN, and it's now a month away. I have plans to get a good amount of work on one of my costumes on Friday, and tentative plans beyond there.

But one of my outfits, I had a whole group for at one point, and now i don't know WHO'S still in and who's not, but it's definitely not everyone. @.@

And I'm trying to get a masq thing together and I don't know what I'm doing for that (going between two things), I've only just found something that MIGHT work for the background of my skit for Friday night and my partner hasn't ok'd it yet... and we need to finish our script and submit our form....

And then for NAF I'm doing panels and some of them are up on the list on cosplay.com, but some of it isn't, and some stuff seems out of order from what I submitted... and I'm confused now and I haven't received the proper confirmation forms for them from the people at the con, even though some of them HAVE been posted. Which leads me to just be even more confused.

And there's been something I've been planning for THAT naf, but I don't know if we have half the cast (of 4) anymore. I think we have three... probably, maybe, but not four at the moment. But we need all four for the skit to work. And I don't want to be screwed and not be able to do it, 'cause it's a cute skit and it won't work unless acted out... it won't work as a story. And besides, it's more two_powers' than mine.


On top of that, I've been failing with some things closer to home.

Almost twice now, I've almost had plans backfire on me because I couldn't get in contact with someone. Not for lack of trying on my part either. Apparently it was largely bad timing. Another time, I was freaking out because I wanted to CHANGE plans and I couldn't get hold of someone. I was almost hyperventalating, that wasn't fun.

At school today, I found out that I didn't have and hadn't read a textbook for music, that I ended up not needing. That freaked me out a little. But noises that I was hearing in the meeting place, a bit of heat, and some sort of... odd scent was scaring me more. It was probably nothing, but it was freaking me out nonetheless.

And... yeah.

After school today, I made muffins and the little ones are semi-fail, at least in looks. Then I had to go and plan stuff for tomorrow, because I'm going to see a show with my sister and some friends, and I was talking to people on MSN, and that was overwhealming me. But I didn't want to stop talking to anyone because I felt I needed to keep the conversation going even if I couldn't concentrate or say much.


.......


I need to calm down and relax or something.
And for things to... actually go my way now.