(no subject)

You tell me not to be sad, because I'm crying.

You say how dare I talk to you like that, when I, putting some emotion in, say that I'm STRESSED.

How dare I?

Do you know what I've been going through recently?

People don't pay attention to me.

I come home every day either to an empty house, or to hardly any conversation within the house.

I'm coming home tired most nights, I'm angry at myself because I can't concentrate on schoolwork when I get home. Yes, I distract myself. I feel like I need time off. And then I feel bad when I get no actual work done.

I'm still not sure what my AT thinks of me on a personal level, but I'm getting the feeling that we're not quite clicking, although we can have a decent working relationship. You woke me up an hour early this morning due to the weather. Many of my students, although they're good, admit they don't like English. I want to make it better for them, but they're not giving a ton of suggestions either.

I hardly get to see my friends due to many different constraints.

Yes, I realize it may seem like overreacting over an unpaid bill, especially when it was an accident and not any fault on our end.

But I'm not used to dealing with people like that. I'm a little scared, yes. And I know I have to do it. You don't have to repeat the information you just told me. Yes, you did add more, but you didn't need to repeat the first part.

And that it's affecting my credit rating? You think that's not going to be stressful, when I'm worried about school and social lives and christmas presents and everything else too?

This isn't the big problem. It's just a straw that's breaking the camel's back.

How dare I talk to you like that?

How dare you think I should be happy as a clam over life when I've got much more weight than usual on my back, and you're too busy being a support system admittedly in somewhere that needs it more than me, but still leaving me without hardly any at a time when they warn at the very beginning that it's going to be a hectic year.

You know, you still haven't taken me shopping for teacher-clothes. Which you said you would back in AUGUST.

I'm holding my tongue right now. I could yell back at you. But it's not worth it. I feel like you'd dismiss my problems. Or just get angry at me for yelling at you.

But don't get angry at me for crying. I cry when I'm stressed. I understand my emotions. GIVE ME A HUG. Reassure me. But don't tell me I'm going about things the wrong way by crying. I can't cry or get angry at school. Rarely in front of my friends. Let me at least have somewhere where I can be free about my emotions, especially when they're not for the most part harmful.

I need it. Why can't you understand that?

I guess you're just too busy.