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box_of_doomI've been in a weird mood lately. It seems as if, for the most part when I'm at home, I'm depressed and when I'm out with friends, I'm more than awesome.
A lot of this has to do with the fact that... especially this week, the fact that I don't have a summer job secured yet has been hitting home.
I'm so scared of having another summer like last year.... or perhaps I should say another year like last year. Everything went downhill after A.N. last year... and... yeah. I hardly got any money out of last summer... and I have even less right now than I did at this time last year.
....and.... yeah.
Job hunting always makes me feel really stressed, frustrated, and depressed. It seems that every day I put effort into looking for jobs, I end up crying. Not because I'm sad, but because I'm frustrated. I always cry more when I'm frustrated than when I'm sad.
And my self-esteem always drops because I SHOULD have applied to more jobs earlier. I think I've applied for more than I did last year by at least ten, but it doesn't make a difference if none of them are interested in hiring me.
There's still hope of getting one of the jobs I really wanted, but the only way I will find out is if they call, and if they don't call then I'm not being considered. But I don't know when they would call by. I know Jen got called last week, but the fact that she's related to someone who works there, and worked there last year means she's almost a shoo-in to get some position... and I don't have that luxury.
and... yeah. I'm just really stressed and sad about this, and I want it to go away.
Oddly, the best news I've heard about my job search is that a friend of mine is in the same boat as I am. It's not that it's good news perse, it's just that it's really comforting to know that I'm really not alone. And... yeah.
On a related note, if anyone knows of any good places to find summer work (either plaes hiring, or places to search for jobs), especially in the durham region.... PLEASE TELL ME.
....I think I need a hug....
or ten million.
*puts up a sign that says "Hugging booth: $1"* =P
A lot of this has to do with the fact that... especially this week, the fact that I don't have a summer job secured yet has been hitting home.
I'm so scared of having another summer like last year.... or perhaps I should say another year like last year. Everything went downhill after A.N. last year... and... yeah. I hardly got any money out of last summer... and I have even less right now than I did at this time last year.
....and.... yeah.
Job hunting always makes me feel really stressed, frustrated, and depressed. It seems that every day I put effort into looking for jobs, I end up crying. Not because I'm sad, but because I'm frustrated. I always cry more when I'm frustrated than when I'm sad.
And my self-esteem always drops because I SHOULD have applied to more jobs earlier. I think I've applied for more than I did last year by at least ten, but it doesn't make a difference if none of them are interested in hiring me.
There's still hope of getting one of the jobs I really wanted, but the only way I will find out is if they call, and if they don't call then I'm not being considered. But I don't know when they would call by. I know Jen got called last week, but the fact that she's related to someone who works there, and worked there last year means she's almost a shoo-in to get some position... and I don't have that luxury.
and... yeah. I'm just really stressed and sad about this, and I want it to go away.
Oddly, the best news I've heard about my job search is that a friend of mine is in the same boat as I am. It's not that it's good news perse, it's just that it's really comforting to know that I'm really not alone. And... yeah.
On a related note, if anyone knows of any good places to find summer work (either plaes hiring, or places to search for jobs), especially in the durham region.... PLEASE TELL ME.
....I think I need a hug....
or ten million.
